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"What happens when you die?" The question is posed,
weighted heavy though it shouldn't be, as if the answer
determined the facets of someone's character.
The shrug that responds almost seems to incite more
questioning, "Well, you told me you didn't believe in
so what happens to you, when you die?"
She knows this is a conversation she won't forget because
she doesn't know, she doesn't know and that aches at
the deepest center of her heart because
she does know, she does know if she's wrong, she'll go to
and there will be no
to save her then.

She doesn't answer audibly, instead attempts to quell
the curiosity with another simple shrug.
"What is this life for, if not to get into
Oh, she hates this question. This question hurts her the most.
It disregards every beautiful thing life gives.
"What is this life for, if only to get into
She finally responds. Her interogator pauses for a moment,
and at this, shrugs.

"We are so concerned with what comes
that we do not pause to reflect on the
and wrong each other in the name of
that controls the
so that we may be saved from the
we so deeply fear. If
were loving enough, maybe I would want to believe,
but I have no reason to invest in a spirit that
more than it loves."

Her friend is still. Murmurs,
"But this cannot be a waste."
She sighs.
"No. It cannot."
I've had numerous conversations like this. People seem to be fascinated by it, or terrified by it. I fall into the latter.

I hate death. I hate the thought of it, I hate thinking on what may or may not happen, I hate thinking about all of that.
But most of all, I hate the thought that seems to surround death that is "What is this life for?"
It's a stupid question to me.
A better question to ask is "What isn't it for?" We spend so much time worrying about where we're going to go rather than what's happening now, to us, around us.

I won't ever forget the first conversation I had about this, especially since it was with someone I loved.
It should be easy to talk about.
Instead it just makes me jittery and nervous and borderline panicking. Fear of death, folks, you think you have it figured out and then it bites you in the ass.
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Yes, it's a compelling conversation indeed. The argument they make is always that they know for sure what awaits them, so you must do as they say or else. But what if they're wrong and you wasted time not doing what truly mattered to you? Then it's fraud, and theft of your entire life.
Of course,if you are wrong and they are right...
Sigh. This is why I went crazy in the 90s.
Marashete Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student General Artist
AH, but this is why we should live life like we think we should, and let everyone else alone. XD
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
Exactly my thinking! I don't preach about religion, or politics, or anything else. If someone asks, I will list facts or the like but try to keep a neutral tone. I believe certain things are pretty obvious when you know facts, so there's no need to preach in the first place...
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December 26, 2012
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