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December 26, 2012
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"What happens when you die?" The question is posed,
weighted heavy though it shouldn't be, as if the answer
determined the facets of someone's character.
The shrug that responds almost seems to incite more
questioning, "Well, you told me you didn't believe in
GOD,
so what happens to you, when you die?"
She knows this is a conversation she won't forget because
she doesn't know, she doesn't know and that aches at
the deepest center of her heart because
she does know, she does know if she's wrong, she'll go to
HELL
and there will be no
GOD
to save her then.

She doesn't answer audibly, instead attempts to quell
the curiosity with another simple shrug.
"What is this life for, if not to get into
HEAVEN?"
Oh, she hates this question. This question hurts her the most.
It disregards every beautiful thing life gives.
"What is this life for, if only to get into
HEAVEN?"
She finally responds. Her interogator pauses for a moment,
and at this, shrugs.

"We are so concerned with what comes
AFTER
that we do not pause to reflect on the
NOW
and wrong each other in the name of
GOD
that controls the
AFTER
so that we may be saved from the
HELL
we so deeply fear. If
GOD
were loving enough, maybe I would want to believe,
but I have no reason to invest in a spirit that
HATES
more than it loves."

Her friend is still. Murmurs,
"But this cannot be a waste."
She sighs.
"No. It cannot."
I've had numerous conversations like this. People seem to be fascinated by it, or terrified by it. I fall into the latter.

I hate death. I hate the thought of it, I hate thinking on what may or may not happen, I hate thinking about all of that.
But most of all, I hate the thought that seems to surround death that is "What is this life for?"
It's a stupid question to me.
A better question to ask is "What isn't it for?" We spend so much time worrying about where we're going to go rather than what's happening now, to us, around us.

I won't ever forget the first conversation I had about this, especially since it was with someone I loved.
It should be easy to talk about.
Instead it just makes me jittery and nervous and borderline panicking. Fear of death, folks, you think you have it figured out and then it bites you in the ass.

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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Yes, it's a compelling conversation indeed. The argument they make is always that they know for sure what awaits them, so you must do as they say or else. But what if they're wrong and you wasted time not doing what truly mattered to you? Then it's fraud, and theft of your entire life.
Of course,if you are wrong and they are right...
Sigh. This is why I went crazy in the 90s.
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:iconmarashete:
Marashete Dec 29, 2012  Student General Artist
AH, but this is why we should live life like we think we should, and let everyone else alone. XD
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Exactly my thinking! I don't preach about religion, or politics, or anything else. If someone asks, I will list facts or the like but try to keep a neutral tone. I believe certain things are pretty obvious when you know facts, so there's no need to preach in the first place...
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